Are You Tired Yet? by Susan Maysonet

Over our vacation last week I read "Loving our Children on Purpose" by Danny Silk. Silk teaches that giving kids choices as much as possible is preferable to giving kids punishments.  This will give them opportunities to learn how to make wise decisions for themselves and allows the

parent/ child relationship to be less punitive.   I really connected with a lot of his teaching and have started implementing some of his strategies.  

Last night Luke and Eva were in their beds at 7:30 according to our routine.  I added a strategy

from the book: the rule is "I can't see you, I can't hear you".  As happens often they were having difficulty settling.  So, I tried a scenario from the book. So, I ask "Are you tired?" They respond, "no."   "Ok", I say "Come with me.  I have a job for you to do."  I give them each a sponge with a little dish soap on it and ask them to sweep and scrub the kitchen floor.  They are actually mildly excited.  After they are done  I ask them "Are you tired?" They answer "no" and so they get another job.

At the end of the night Eva had washed the kitchen floor, the bathroom sink, and sorted the art supplies before deciding she was tired.  

Luke washed the kitchen floor, the other bathroom sink, folded laundry, swept the hallway, washed 2 of my kitchen walls, washed the garbage can, emptied the garbages, cleaned Eva's play kitchen, and put away items for the pantry.  

 In the book, when the author encounters this with his kids, they do one job and decide that they are tired (his kids were the same ages as mine).  

Observations:  

1. If this keeps up, my house will be sparkling.

2. They are starving for freedom, to the point that they'll clean for a couple hours over sleeping just because they have the choice. 

3. Luke especially doesn't know how to make wise choices for himself.  He's experimenting with his world to see what happens if he stays up late.  

4.  I'm ok with them making mistakes and learning what it feels like to be tired the next day.  

5.  I really like not lecturing them.  

To be continued....

Susan Maysonet

(Reposted with the permission of Susan Maysonet, Original Post, Facebook, March 1, 2011)